Monday, August 3, 2009

Polish Divorce?

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him--"very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"

POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."

LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

POLE: "It made of concrete."

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."

LAWYER: "I mean, What are your relations like?"

POLE:%26amp;nb sp; "All my relations still in Poland ."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"

POLE: "No, I always up before her."

LAWYER: "Is your wife a ******?"

POLE: "No, she white."

LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"

POLE: "She going to kill me."

LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"

POLE: "I got proof.

LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"

POLE: "She going to poiso n me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."

Polish Divorce?
lol really nice keep them coming
Reply:thnx merry xmass Report It

Reply:Oh good lord!...LOL
Reply:i have same problem with my wife but no get divorce yet they say polish remover not dangerous i not believe.
Reply:lol...thats a great one...loved it
Reply:sad very sad
Reply:LOL. Yep. LOL.

Good one.
Reply:Good one.

The Poles are being replace by blondes, for stupidity!
Reply:Oh wow I totally saw a different ending! Good one! hahaha


Polish Class System in the UK?

I wonder if anyone can help me.

I'm wondering if there is a specific social hierachy that exists between the recent influx of immigrants to the UK?

For example would a Polish waiter look down on a Polish cleaner - how is this expressed? Are there any specific examples you can think of?

I'd be particularly interested in hearing first hand from anyone who has encountered it.

Polish Class System in the UK?
I think Polish people are patriots. Generally I think they still adopt the communist ethos of equality. I know a few myself. They don't look down on others.
Reply:No, they don't have a class system in Poland, just here in the UK it seems, more specifically England.

skin rash

Polish AK better than the Yugo AK?

Is the Polish AK better than the Yugo?, and does the Polish AK have chrome bore? does yugo have chrome bore? Are they slightly or greatly different from each other considering the quality and reliability?

Polish AK better than the Yugo AK?
The Yugo is definitely not chrome lined. Most yugo parts that came in saw heavy usage so most have new commercial made barrels or the pitted original barrel. The polish kits that came in were hardly used and were very high quality. Either in excellent condition is a great gun, but you have to inspect it well before buying it. Check the bore with a bore light to make sure it has strong riflings left in the barrel and when clean it should shine, if not it is called a "dark bore". Some dark bore rifles shoot good, while others are worn out junk.

I myself would choose either the Polish AKMS in 7.62x39 or the Polish AK-74 Tantal in 5.45x39.
Reply:Don't know, but I love my Yugo under folder!
Reply:I like my Polish with a little sauerkraut and some Grey Poupon


Polish immigrants (plumbers)?

There is quite a lot of flack against Polish people in the UK(I'm not polish). But who would you rather have Polska Paul who works his a*s off all day who comes at 7PM and leaves late, or British Bob who comes and goes comes and goes does half of the work and charges triple?

What do you think?

Polish immigrants (plumbers)?
Hey,If I were British I would go for a qualified countryman providing the charge isn't triple.Why don`t you support your own people?
Reply:Wladek is not Polish. Report It

Reply:There's quite a high number of Polish people where I live and they are very hard working %26amp; polite people. I would rather have them do the work!!!
Reply:I want the person who is qualified to do the job correctly.
Reply:Ladymoon : You say that your husband cannot find a good paying job. My wife and I had been living abroad for a while and when we came back we found that although we were both very well qualified we could not find work due to our ages. I was 57 and my wife 52. We both took jobs at the minimum wage. Me showing cars on ferries at a ferry port and her as a receptionist for a one man concern. Within weeks my employees saw potential in me and gave me a better job. The same thing with my wife. I then found another job (people like employing people that are employed). I retired 2 years ago and started my own business and my wife is purchasing manager of a big company.(by the way she was a qualified drafts-man so never did this job before she came back).

You have 17000 points in just over a year which means that you live on your computer. So that makes two of you that are on some sort of benefit.

Who do you think pays for that. The answer is anybody that works. This includes Poles.
Reply:i couldn't give a toss
Reply:Funnily enough, most of the Polish people I meet in Edinburgh are professional people (lawyers, academics, IT professionals, e.t.c) or students. I suppose the type of immigrants you come across depends on where you live and your social circles mind you.

I would certainly rather have people who are prepared to work hard to earn their living than people who aren't, but I think this idea of home grown British workers being work shy, lazy or slipshod is very unfair as well. As usual it's a small minority giving the silent majority a bad name. Also it's worth keeping in mind that hard work is not necessarily equivalent to good quality work.

I certainly value the contribution that legal immigrant workers make in Britain, but most home grown British workers are just as hard working and diligent.
Reply:No contest - British Bob any day. British Bob speaks English, works to current BRITISH regulations and can be held accountable for any future problems should they arise. As where Polska Paul might be cheap but when you find he's installed your boiler wrongly and its illegal - Polska Paul wont understand and next thing he's done a runner before you can sue xxx
Reply:I'd rather have the bloke that knows how plumbing is done in the UK.

I used to work on a crew that went round building sites fixing the things the poles had f**ked up.
Reply:Depends who has the best skills. And obviously there's comunication. If the Pole doesnt speak any English, you would be in trouble!
Reply:What a stupid question. Don't insult the British tradesmen. You may get dodgy ones but you know there are many honest people who rely on a good name for their wages.

I have had really good British tradesmen give excellent service.

What is with the myth that poles work harder and better. I work in a factory full of them and they are no different from the British they just want the money that is their drive being here.
Reply:i've worked with quite a few polish on sites here in ireland and i have to say the majority of them play the game, they get paid shi't wages so why do the extra time to ensure a quality job. its the foremans job to check on them. but i have to say most of their work is pretty piss poor. but i have no problem with them or their work. i'd be happy to see the new builds fall on top of the heads of the greedy developers.
Reply:British Bob because by hiring him you are helping him pay his mortgage and look after his kids. By hiring Polska Paul you are sending money back to Poland and helping to put British Bob (who could be your next door neighbour or a friend of yours) out of work, contributing to him losing his home and leaving his wife and kids with nothing.

I'm sorry if it sounds wrong or harsh but I like to look after my own. Poland can look after theirs. I will never hire a Polish plumber. British all the way. You have to pay more to get the best.

Actually when we need plumbing work done we hire a friend of my partner's who qualified as a plumber last year and who can't get work because of all the competition. He's now working in a pub to pay the rent and very demoralised - all he wants is a chance to work and use the skills he gained in college. So we give him whatever work we can. Polska Paul will NEVER get a penny out of me!

Actually "Eastern EU" our home was not repossessed as we managed to save it (if you had bothered to read my previous question you would have seen this) and the reason we could not "pay our mortagage" is because my partner is unable to get a decent paid job, probably because of the flood of Eastern European leeches currently sucking the blood out of our employment market. I may be poor but I have my standards. I will NEVER employ a Polish plumber! I look after my own like I said. I will pay more if I have to just to make sure another British family does not have to go through what I have. Unlike you I have standards and care about more than just money.
Reply:Bob for me where did these polish train for a start also i wouldnt want them in my house touching my stuff who knows that they aint moving the rest of the family into your front door while your in the kitchen making a brew.

Its not very often you find a bob thats does half a job these days as they do have the polish to compete with
Reply:You should ask how many people have been killed or injured by poles driving hgvs without a proper licence and totaly disregard tachograph law.Also how many have disappeared back to poland before they can be prosecuted.Or eastern European truck mechanics that think the only tool you need to service trucks is a bloody pen
Reply:I personally would like a plumber to turn up on time and give a fair price.
Reply:British Bob because he's here to stay and get the job done. Polsksa Paul is only in it for a passport and benefits.
Reply:obviously the polish guy... it's a general rule that immigrant often work harder.
Reply:good old bob for me anytime, why is there such a myth that Poles do such great jobs ??
Reply:Rather the Polish one obviously.
Reply:the polish guy. Because im gonna rip the head off the english guy who installed a shower for my mother at an extortionate price. Hard to plumb with broken fingers!
Reply:I think it's an economic issue: everyone wants the best quality for the best price, it doesn't matter if it's Polish, English, Chinese, Japanese, Zimbabwean or Marsian.

And it is not a political problem, it is all about the leaking tape.

Ladymoonlight, you see, your tap has probably been still leaking after that and you had to pay 4x as much, as you would otherwise. Is this why you could not pay your mortgage and your home was repossessed (as per one of your previous questions) ?

Ladymoonlight, I could not have look at all your Q%26amp;A, as you've made it private. In one of them I read before, you stated your husband is an unskilled worker. Maybe that is the reason why he cannot find a job according to his/ yours demands and aspirations? News for you: it takes more to get a good offer on the modern job market than just nationality and unjustified high self-esteem. You were also complaining he could not improve his skills because you struggle for money and someone else advised you how and where to obtain the financial support. Taking into consideration the fact you husband is highly intelligent (as you stated in your answer to the one of my questions), what is the problem with him going to the college to do some courses? Again Eastern Europeans, or plain laziness? C'mon...

Let's leave your husband, then...

You said something about your standards, I am going to ask you, what they are? I see only arrogance, ignorance and ingratitude. I am sure as hell, you're one of these numerous Englanders who claim loads of children benefits, unemployment benefits, tax credits, job seekers allowances and God knows, what else, yet they are still moaning and complaining about the people like me and other immigrants here who contribute heavily to the system. We feed you and others similar to you, and I did not take a broken penny back, nor I have ever desired one. And what is given back to us, instead of gratefulness? Hostility, nothing else.

Last contradiction: money is not everything for you? Fine, but why are you still complaining you have not got enough dosh?
Reply:I don't really care;)


Polish people HELP me!?

I have this project for my Polish class.

I need pictures of people who lived in Dawna Polska because I have to dress as one of the people who lived back then. Like people who lived in Biskupin. If you find some descriptions about how they dressed please post them.

I need a lot of pictures. My teacher told me to watch Stara Basn to get a general idea of what she wants and I'm probably going to do that.

You can write in Polish. I don't really mind.

Jak ludzie ubierali sie w Dawnej Polsce? Zdjecia milo widziane :)

Polish people HELP me!?
Stara basn is really good example of the old times in poland here u have a summery of what the movie is about An Ancient Tale: When the Sun Was God takes place in ninth-century Europe, when different Slavic tribes lived upon the lands that would later become the nation of Poland; at a time when each tribe worshiped its own deities. A cruel prince, Popiel, and his scheming wife will do anything in their power to pass control of this land to their son (and according to local legend, Popiel will ultimately be eaten by mice). The commander of Popiel's army, Piastun, opposed to the crimes and intrigue that Popiel orders him to commit upon the people to guarantee the succession, turns on Popiel.

Popiel seeks revenge upon his old commander, but Piastun is rescued from death by a young hunter and warrior, Ziemowit Pastowic. Ziemowit had spent years living with the Vikings and had only recently returned to his former homeland. Ziemowit falls in love with Dziwa, the lovely daughter of Wisz, a wealthy local merchant, wishing to marry her but Dziwa's fate is sealed by her father — she is to become a priestess in the local temple...

Zycie wikingow

mam nadzieje ze ise przyda :):)

Świat Wikingów był imponujący. Obejmował tereny od wschodnich wybrzeży Morza Śródziemnego aż po Amerykę. Już pod koniec VIII wieku po Chr. wikiński żywioł zaczął ogarniać stopniowo coraz to większe obszary. W wyobraźni współcześnie żyjących ludzi Wikingowie jawią się jako łupieżcy, krwawi wojownicy i najeźdźcy. Z mieczem w ręku staczali bitwy, palili domostwa i brali niewolników. Jest to jednak tylko ta mroczna strona tajemniczego ludu. Wikingowie to również jedni z pierwszych odkrywców, zdobywców, doskonali rzemieślnicy, kupcy i żeglarze. Niewielu z nas wie przecież, że to właśnie oni, na długo przed Krzysztofem Kolumbem, dotarli do wybrzeży Ameryki. Dzięki doskonale opanowanym umiejętnościom żeglugi oraz wspaniałym statkom - płaskodennym łodziom wiosłowym, wyposażonym w prostokątne żagle, tzw. drakkarom (szybkim łodziom przybrzeżnym) i knorrom (pełnomorskim statkom), a także wynalezieniu techniki żeglowania z użyciem siły wiatru, mogli odkrywać miejsca, do których nikt przed nimi nie odważył się dotrzeć. Dlatego też wikińskie osady zakładane były na Hybrydach, Orkadach, Islandii, czy Grenlandii. Ich szlaki wypraw prowadziły również do Konstantynopola, czy na przykład Lizbony.

Skąd taka władza, determinacja i takie umiejętności? Wikingowie stali się sławni w Europie po złupieniu klasztoru na wyspie Lindisfarne w 793 roku po Chr. Od tego momentu groźny lud z Północy zaczął wzbudzać panikę i strach wśród ludności zamieszkującej wsie i miasta.

Słowo "wiking" pochodzi od staronordyjskiego vik czyli zatoki lub starogermańskiego vik, czyli osady portowej. Tłumaczone jest na różne sposoby. Według jednych oznaczało zajęcie – wyruszenie na wyprawę łupieską – "wyjście na wiking". Według innych termin oznaczał osobę, która wojowała na morzu – grabieżcę.

Ojczyzną Wikingów były chłodne i wietrzne obszary Skandynawii. Górskie tereny, częściowo pokryte śniegiem i lodem, o mocno postrzępionej linii brzegowej z wieloma wysepkami, zamieszkiwane przez drapieżniki, z wodami obfitymi w ryby – oto kolebka wikińska, z której rodzili się wysocy wojownicy. Berit Sellevold, norweska antropolog, tak opisuje wygląd Wikingów: "zarówno mężczyźni, jak i kobiety wyróżniali się proporcjonalną budową ciała. Czaszki cechuje przeciętna szerokość i wysokość w porównaniu z długością (...) Jeżeli chodzi o powierzchowność, ludzie z okresu wikińskiego nie różnili się zbytnio od obecnych mieszkańców Północy z wyjątkiem nieco niższego wzrostu i znacznie zdrowszych zębów oraz naturalnie odzienia, uczesania i ozdób".

Wikingowie podobnie jak inne ludy Północy posługiwali się językiem staroskandynawskim i czcili tych samych bogów: Odyna i Thora. Ich społeczność dzieliła się, używając współczesnych pojęć, na: arystokrację-wojowników, ludzi stanu wolnego (kupców, rzemieślników, rolników) oraz niewolników. Przyczyną wypraw były najprawdopodobniej: chęć zdobycia nowych ziem i bogactw. Ale wydaje się, iż to właśnie niedostatek uprawnych gruntów wzbudził "głód ziemi" u Wikingów. Doskonale przygotowane pod względem technicznym statki pozwoliły bez większego ryzyka przemieszczać się na duże odległości.

Obrano kilka kierunków ekspansji. Jako pierwszy południowy-wschód. Wikingowie wyruszyli przez Morze Bałtyckie w kierunku terenów dzisiejszej Rosji, z biegiem wielkich rzek takich jak Dniepr, Dniestr, Wołga. Przekształcili istniejące tu osady słowiańskie (Nowogród) lub założyli nowe ośrodki (Kijów) tworząc pomost pomiędzy Północą a Południem. Szlaki ich wypraw sięgnęły Morza Czarnego a następnie Konstantynopola oraz Wołgi, Morza Kaspijskiego i Bagdadu. Handlowano sprowadzanymi z Północy futrami i niewolnikami, otrzymując w zamian srebro, w postaci monet, pochodzące z kopalni Arabii. W 865 roku wyprawy Wikingów ruszyły w kierunku dzisiejszej Anglii, Francji, Szkocji i Irlandii.

Tak jak już wspominaliśmy Wikingowie, dzięki odkryciom archeologicznym, znani są również jako rzemieślnicy-artyści. Mieli oni tendencję to przekształcania najbardziej prostych przedmiotów użytku codziennego w arcydzieła sztuki użytkowej. Rozliczne wyprawy wzbogacały rodzimą ornamentykę. Na przedmiotach takich jak rękojeści noży, zapinki, czy sprzączki do pasa występowały stylizowane wizerunki zwierząt oraz motywy roślinne. Splecione ze sobą różne wzory tworzyły tajemnicze wizerunki, zapierające niejednokrotnie dech w piersiach. Do dnia dzisiejszego sięgamy chętnie do tej stylistyki.

Świat wikiński to również runy - noszące cechy magii - pismo. Pismem, które składało się prawie wyłącznie z linii prostych pokrywano kamienie, przedmioty z kości i metalu. Wiele napisów runicznych znajduje się na kamieniach nagrobnych, na których w ten sposób uwieczniano imię zmarłego. Legenda wikińska głosi, że to bóg Odyn, poddany ciężkim próbom, jako pierwszy posiadł umiejętność posługiwania się pismem runicznym:

"Wiem, że zawisłem/na targanym wiatrem drzewie/przez całych dziewięć nocy/przeszyty włócznią/oddany Odynowi/sam z sobą/

na tym drzewie/którego korzeni/nikt nie zna/nie dostałem chleba/ nie napoju z rogu/zajrzałem w głębiny/chwyciłem runy/krzycząc je wyrwałem/a potem na powrót w dół się stoczyłem."

Hávamál z Eddy poetyckiej

Alfabet runiczny nazywany jest futhark, zaś nazwa pochodzi od dźwięków przypisanych jego pierwszym sześciu znakom: f, u, th, a, r, k. Każdy symbol był odpowiednikiem dźwięku oraz piktogramem – obrazkiem opisującym jakieś pojęcie.

Podobnie jak pismo runiczne taki i cały świat wikiński przesycony był wierzeniami i magią. Najpotężniejszym bogiem był jednooki Odyn – bóg wojny, strategii, przebiegłości, który jedno oko zamienił na łyk wody ze Studni Wiedzy. Polegli wojownicy udawali się do jego domu – Walhalla w Asgardzie. Jego atrybutem była włócznia Gungnir oraz ośmionogi koń – Sleipnir. Drugim najważniejszym bogiem wikińskim był Thor, a oto opowieść o jego wyprawie po Młot, nieodłącznym elemencie jego wizerunku:


Polish food?

I have noticed some of the big supermarkets are starting to sell Polish food - mostly stuff in jars, packets of meat/sausage and bread. I'd like to try some of this food but I dont understand the label and the content. Have you tried any of these foods and can you recommend anything? Please give me the name in Polish of you can and an explanation in English, thanks.

Polish food?
Pork is a popular polish meat,-sausages made with pork include---Kabanosy-cabannos---,zywiecka,... .Polish pate-paszet polski, .Boczek Zwijany----cooked bacon roll Placki Kartoflane--potato pancakes. .Golabki--stuffed cabbage Polish food is tasty ,filling and nutritious i love it
Reply:The Carrot, Apple %26amp; Raspberry nectar drink is really nice... it comes in a glass bottle with a picture of a rabbit on the front... sorry I can't remember the name I just pick it up when I see it! Tastes very good... not too sure about any of the foods.
Reply:usually they have english small labels, i love polish food and cant stop bying it
Reply:Most polish sausage is simmered in sauerkraut and then put on a nice crusty bakery bun...very good. Polish sauerkraut is sweeter than the regular kind you would usually buy.
Reply:Try some of the wafer bars they do... can't remember the names, but they're sweet, a little larger than chocolate bars, but a lot lighter... okay, I've just had one, and here's the info on the wrapper- they are called Grezeski (could be a brand name), and they come in three flavours... as far as I can see... Toffee, banana and hazelnut. There's even an e.mail address on here! A website! Polish sweeties on the way :) or not, it's not an online shop :( but hey, still interesting to take a look...

Like you, I'm curious about Polish food, but I don't read Polish either, and that makes it tricky to check whether or not there are meat-derived ingredients. Not fun for a veggie bun...
Reply:I'm not too sure about polish savoury stuff, I find it very salty, but I do like the fruit juices, especially cherry, and I like polish apple cake, too. Dumplings are ok if you like that sort of thing. I can't give you any brand names, but it's evident what each item is from the label. Nutrition/ ingredients information will be available on a sticker on top of the label if the original one isn't comprehensible to the common or garden Tesco shopper.

I live in a small town and we have 2 polish delis nearby - find your nearest and go and ask them about their produce. They'll give you samples and explain how it's made and recommend different foods for you to try.
Reply:their stuff is brilliant .most of the sausages are made from pork so i dont eat them but my freinds do and say they are really good. the fruit juice and bread they make are excellent.


Polish words?

i need some polish words and phases really quick . for a polish women i been seeing .

Polish words?
jak sie masz - how are you (yah-k sheln mosh)

dije mi buze - give me a kiss (die-me boo-zee)

dzien dorby good day (jane do-brie)

ladnen - pretty (wad-knee)

lalka - doll (lal-kah)
Reply:Is it a woman or women? And what exactly do you want to say to her / them?
Reply:go to this page and see the leaflet on it there is speaking and meaning of some polish words. it is realy helpful
Reply:Tell her "ale o co chodzi?".

That means "what's up?".
Reply:mr sheen/pledge
Reply:Hi - Czesc

Bye - Dowidzenia

Please - Prosze

Thank you - Dziekuje

I miss you - Tesknie

I'm sorry - Przepraszam

I love you - Kocham Cie

You're beaulitful - Jestes piekna

I adore you - Uwielbiam Cie

Email me if you need anything else ;)
Reply:What exactly kind of words do u need??

Please give me more details about it and I will be glad to answer u :-)
Reply:Go to this site... type in any English word and it will translate it into Polish for you. x
Reply:i went to poland but cannot remember any words. try the internet, babel fish I think does not do Polish.

there are so many polish around nowadays I think some could br on here!

Did you know the flights to Poland have increased by a massive amount in the last few years.
Reply:try up chongee me...i think thats how you spell it not sure but think you will get a reaction from it good luck
Reply:Ladna dupa!-nice ***!

Jestes najpiekniejsza kobitka na swiecie.-your the prettiest girl in the world

Pograsz z moimi pilkami?-want to play with my balls?

means **** you
Reply:ive me gay, some ussy pay

Sorry that was Pig Latin
Reply:Call her a kurwa, she will love it.

Dobri den...

Tak doba...

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